Witch Wizard

Witch Wizard[Read] ➵ Witch Wizard By James Patterson – Oaklandjobs.co.uk The world is changing the government has seized control of every aspect of society and now kids are disappearing For fifteen year old Wisty and her older brother Whit life turns upside down when they The world is changing the government has seized control of every aspect of society and now kids are disappearing For fifteen year old Wisty and her older brother Whit life turns upside down when they are hauled out of bed one night separated from their parents and thrown into a secret compound for no reason they can comprehend The new government is clearly trying to suppress Life Liberty and the Pursuit of Being a Normal TeenagerImprisoned together and condemned to death Wisty and Whit begin exhibiting strange abilities and powers they never dreamed of Maybe there is a reason they were singled out Can this newly discovered witch and a wizard master their skills in time to save themselves their parents and maybe the world. I've never really been a big fan of James Patterson After Reading Angel Experiment and Daniel X I had pretty much given up on this guy Although I had heard some amazing things about his new book Witch Wizard so I thought 'What the heck' and so I picked it up and read it BLEH I honestly cannot stand Patterson's writing style The dialogue that his characters use is just so unrealistic lamely sarcastic and just overall annoying On top of that I've never really been a big fan for his short chapters I feel that this book had a lot of potential and if written by anyone other than Patterson or Stephanie Meyer then I actually might have enjoyed it My thoughtsI couldn't wait to get my hands on this book I'm so glad I waited to get it from my local library rather than buying it at the book store If I had spent my own money on itwell it would have been even a bigger disappointment than it wasI'm a big fan of James Patterson's adult books I LOVE the Alex Cross series I started getting a bit disenchanted after reading The Beach House one of the first books he co authored The next book I can't even recall the title because I didn't finish it It was also co authored Our relationship has gone down hill since then Witch Wizard sounded so promising I gave it a shot The story felt pieced together like someone didn't edit it before sending it to be printed The main characters Whit and Wisty Allgood were so over the top it was almost laughable And the bad guys were so BAD it was laughable What a time wasterI finished the book but I couldn't wait until the last page so I could be done with them and their story I won't be wasting my time with the seuel that is sure to come This is the first book that I've read and that I couldn't finish without skimming over most of it The writing was so so bad the characters were so stupid and made all the wrong decision and the dialogue was so cheesy I've been searching for at least one thing that I liked about the book but I failed miserably I uite like James Patterson's books but I don't know what happened in this one This might possibly be the worst book that I've read so far and that really is saying something They're afraid of change and we must change They're afraid of the young and we are the young They're afraid of music and music is our life They're afraid of books and knowledge and ideas They're most afraid of our magicYou know what I'm afraid? I'm afraid that this book is actually a best sellerI've never felt such a huge amount of hate for a book I've never felt so powerless to think how many innocent trees were cut for making paper for this shit book I've never felt so embarrased to say that I actually like YA fantasy If this book is the next Harry Potter I want to throw myself to the riverI'm actually 21 so I still got a long way to go but believe I don't want to find a worse book than this one I'm not sure if I would survive Believe when I tell you that Witch and Wizard has absolutely nothing to be saved It's a literalute abomination from start to end Plot is cliched as fuck characters are so freaking hateful not even Satan would want them near world is absolutely lame and barely constructed and don't make me start with motherfucking money James Patterson's writing style The only positive aspect I could find is that actually burns really uickWhy the plot is cliched as fuck? Hello fellow youngsters who their parent hid their ultery absolutely amazing magical powers for no fucking reason Oh what a surprise you're going to find that when the baddies gonna call to your door But wait there's You two are actually the ones whose powers can save the world from the baddies HoorayWhy the characters are so hateful? Because normally I don't kick my pillow's ass while I'm reading something Whit or Wisty lamest names ever BTW Allgood are you fucking kidding me? are arrogant egocentric blatrant teenager pricks which I've never desired to be in front of me so I could punch their faces Almost everytime they acted like they were fucking ten years old I'm 21 but if I would be a teenager I would felt triggered by their display When they were showing something of their snarky funny goody goody attitude I felt a nail going deeper in my humor sense Have you been playing in toxic waste lately? in response to start glowing And I'm actually Spaniard so I read this crap in Spanish and I could find the part of the mighty and embarrasing smarmy beyond smarmy and tough noogies but English doesn't need to be my mother language to find out that sounds STUPID AS FUCKWhy is the world lame? Okay how about this how the fuck a nazi parody political party take over the world winning all elections? including dictatotial countries I suppose Their no fun allowed program sounded so nice they decided to become democratic for a few minutes so they could win How the fuck people agree with the idea of music movies books religion ever freaking chewing gum in public to be forbidden under death penalty? And what's worse THIS DYSTOPIA IS A SPOILED BRAT PARADISE I'm actually surprised nobody mentioned this In Witch and Wizard all adults are lame boring hateful and extraordinary ugly while youngsters and kids are goody freedom and justice fighters and all of them beautiful as my ass But of course the most beautiful being Whit and WistyI would love to use citations really I would like to show all of you that I'm not making all of these This book shouldn't exist This book is death destroyer of worldsAccess to my full video review in Spanish in my Youtube channel Let me first start off by saying that I don’t mean to offend anyone who loves this book because there seems to be a ridiculously large amount but I H A T E D hated this book It was so terrible I don’t understand how people can possibly even come close to liking it I’ll start with the main characters Whit and Wisty Allgood They were idiotic terribly constructed selfish fools I mean come on And the names Who seriously names their two kids Wisteria and Whitford? They had absolutely no motivation for most of the things they did The dialogue was completely unbelievable it sounded like some fifty plus year old guy trying to sound like a teenager oh wait that’s what it was and he failed at it miserably Oh and by the way if you were dragged out of your house in the middle of the night imprisoned for being a witchwizard then escaped with the help of some members of a rebellion and then they told you that you were the only ones that could save a whole bunch of kids from vaporization what would you do? Well I know what Whit and Wisty from here on referred to as The Idiots did Uh no thanks I think I’ll go search around blindly for my parents even though I don’t know where they are and it would only take me a day or so to save those kids Let me say it again complete idiocy Okay rewind a bit What’s with the whole “The One Who” thing? It’s so childish seriously a five year old could’ve written this book I think James Patterson tried to shove too many things into one book either he should’ve stuck with the whole fantasy thing or the sci fi thing And how do you not notice that your entire country is being taken over by a evil political group? The only thing that kept me reading was the hope that it would eventually get better and that I’d heard that James Patterson’s a good author And then after wading through the one dimensional characters idiotic dialogue a terrible plot line and one hundred chapters of stupid you finally get to the end and you don’t find out anything If the purpose of this was to get me to read the next book it failed epically If anything it made me sure in my decision to never read anything by James Patterson again which I made after roughly ten chapters Oh yeah that and the fact that The Idiots were perfectly okay with that weasel guy who wanted them dead just a short while ago is now human again and he wants to follow them around and “help” How dense are you? Seriously I want to know And then nothing Absolutely nothing I actually hope that Bryon betrayed them it would serve them right However I will never find out because I will most definitely not be reading The Gift Ever UghEverything about this book was cliche and annoying the characters the dialogue the plotNothing was well developed at all It was just a big fat mess When JP tried to be funny I found it irritating when he tried to be clever I found it stupid and when he tried to be original I found it sadly the oppositeI was very very disappointed in JP especially since this is the first book I've read by him Not a great first impression sorry to say I know he's got some other popular books but if they are anything like this one I know I wont be a fan I rarely refuse to continue reading a book I have started but I just refused to finish this oneI was very interested in reading this book after seeing it described as being a new series for Harry Potter fanswhich as it turns out is extremely misleading I think there were good ideas for a storyline behind this book but the writing was so lacking no detail lacking any emotion poor character development etc that I just had to give up on the book completelyit's too bad because I do think it could have been a good story if it was approached in the right way What is worse than a flat static main character? TWO flat static main characters To take it one horrible step further have these characters narrate their own story in short choppy chapters This book seems almost like a first draft or maybe even a detailed outline for the idea of a book There is very little detail or descriptive writing For example on pg 161 You got your friends out the girl said then hugged Celia the way Half lights hug Hard to describe Really James Patterson and smallfont Gabrielle Charbonnet? You are writers for crying out loud TRY to describe it What are they paying you for?The magic the two characters possess lacks any kind of order or explanation Sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't There is no rhyme or reason to it The alternate realities are unimaginative and lacked any kind of description other than this gem on page 176 It's really dangerous here There's stuff worse than bombs if you can imagine something terrible than being blown up The secondary characters are completely forgettable When they'd pop up after a page or so of their introduction I'd already forgotten them The only one who wasn't forgettable was the kid who gets turned into a weasel a scene which was probably the only redeeming one in the entire book Then the weasel gets instantly forgiven when he cries and says how sorry he is I finished this book out of sheer disbelief of it's awfulness I kept wondering if it was some kind of joke the authors and publishers were trying to pull on young readers to see if people would really read crap if it only had Witch and Wizard in the title I guess the joke is on us because this book was one of the top selling children's books of 2009 If you must read this book I suggest starting on page 193 where the first two thirds of the book is summed up in succinct 9 item list without missing a single important detailThe end of the book has an appendix of sorts with an excerpt of New Order propaganda which bans offensive books like The Thunder Stealer about Percival Johnson and how he steals from the gods and incurs their wrath Gary Blotter and the Guild of Rejects about a delusional boy who realizes his job of scribe is much easier when he uses his magical powers and Pitcher in the Wheat a coming of age tale about a youth who tries to infect the world with his cynicism There are also lists of banned musicians museums that have been razed and artists who's art is no longer acceptable Each entry is about as imaginative and creative as a word Jumble It was almost as if Patterson and Charbonnet were trying to be funny which doesn't match up with the tone of the story at all which despite the awful writing was clearly supposed to be intensely dramatic The only conclusion I can come to for why this book is taking up space on the bookshelves at any bookstore is that the author's name sells regardless of what is between the covers And that is too bad This book had me laughing right from the start and not because of anything James Patterson had written No not at all My local library bless them has a tendency to mis classify book genres and had placed this book in the Thriller section along with some of Patterson's other Thriller style books In the front the library had stuck their little comment sheet a place where people can mark a book when they have read it Old school I know And here is where the laughter beganStaunch Patterson groupies had left a few non to kind words Not for me Different X and my favourite Mr Patterson what are you doing? Does no one read the blurb on a book any ? What did they all think they were getting here? Who knows But at least I was prepared for what lay within and it certainly couldn't be classed as a ThrillerWe follow Witsy Whit a brother and sister who wake up one day to find the world has changed and all that they know has been replaced by a controlling government a dictatorship hell bent on eradicating anything not in line with their clean and untainted philosophies Unbeknownst to Witsy Whit they are a powerful Witch and Wizard who have had a prophesy written about them This makes them special and wanted by the New Order Being wanted is not a good thing as they soon find out and the New Order does not play niceHow anyone could think a book titled Witch and Wizard was anything other than a fantasy I do not know It's screaming fantasy from the cover through to the blurb but there you go Go local library and Patterson groupiesWitch and Wizard was a very easy read I devoured it in one afternoonevening Apparently from what I have read this is familiar to Patterson's writing style As this was my first Patterson read I was pleasantly surprised It had an easy flow spots of humour and what I would call a medium grade adventure story wrapped up in a fantasy shell The point of view was alternated between Witsy and Whit and a definite difference in personality through the writing style was evidentThere were even a few note worthy moments sentences or paragraphs you couldn't help smiling at and reading againWitsy You know life really sucks when you're desperately wishing to be institutionalized drugged or shocked back to reality I'd gladly take a lobotomy at this point I guess that's what you're faced with when freedom isn't even a pipe dream any longer Give me lobotomy or give me deathOrWhit The guard cowered and did his impression of a dashboard mounted bobblehead in a dune buggyI felt the first half of the book was better than the second It almost petered off there at the end and became contrived and a little lame The story at the beginning had bite and was heading for a high NBRS score but the last few chapters felt very Young Adult and I mean very young Young Adult which seemed to ruin it ever so slightly for me Despite that I'm considering seeking out book two Unfortunately my library has not got that one maybe they were put off by the groupies comments in the front?Anyway I'm giving this very easy and pleasantly enjoyable uick read a 610 Good light weight read well done on the NBRS This book is about these two kids Whit and Wisty that are taken away from their home in the middle of the night and accused of being a witch and a wizard Its all because of the New Order thats run by this man called The One Who Is The One who is trying to rid the world of all magic I think that ANYONE can read this book and still love it It pulled me in from the first chapter It is defenintley a page turner

Paperback  ¿ Witch Wizard PDF ¼
  • Paperback
  • 416 pages
  • Witch Wizard
  • James Patterson
  • English
  • 21 May 2016
  • 9780316071055