Kaffka, the Holy Grail, and a Woman Who Reads: The Quests of Sir Kay

Kaffka, the Holy Grail, and a Woman Who Reads: The Quests of Sir Kay❰Download❯ ➽ Kaffka, the Holy Grail, and a Woman Who Reads: The Quests of Sir Kay Author Rusty Rhoad – Oaklandjobs.co.uk Peace has finally been achieved and it sucks At least for Sir KayI mean, nobody really likes the cold and the fear of war, but compared with now That delicious, dark roasted heady beverage Merlin brou Peace has finally been achieved Holy Grail, Kindle ´ and it sucks At least for Sir KayI mean, nobody really likes the cold and the fear of war, but compared with now That delicious, dark roasted heady beverage Merlin brought back from the Middle East, kaffa, is long gone Arthur expects Kay to run castle and kingdom, just because he s the only person in th century Britain who can do algebra if a knight rides forth from Camelot at three leagues per hour Guinevere treats him as her personal gofer Middle age is fast upon Kay, and the only quest Kaffka, the MOBI :¼ available is to rescue Miffy, a fair but empty headed lady s imprisoned dogAh, but who knows what adventures lie out there, away from the comforts of Camelot The Holy Grail, if one were interested in such a bauble Magic, in the form of an ageless beauty with a treacherous reputation, Morgan le Fay Perhaps the ultimate prize, a woman who readsOr maybe just a night under the stars with no liveried page, face and fingernails scrubbed clean of any trace of dirt, uttering those detested words, Sire, the Queen requests your presence Kaffka, the Holy Grail, and the Holy Grail, PDF/EPUB ¼ a Woman Who Reads The Quests of Sir Kay is a warm, humorous glimpse of Arthurian times through the eyes of a Knight of the Round Table who also happens to be a little shall we say, geeky Sir Kay is a keen observer witty, introspective, and sarcastic at times driven by a sharp intellect and a deep longing for something. Reading this novel set in 6th century Britain requires exercising a willing suspension of disbelief because it is rife with anachronisms and historical inaccuracies Sir Kay refers, for example, to the story of Aladdin and the magic lamp, an 18th century addition to the 9th 14th century The Thousand and One Nights, on page 5 he alludes to Lord Acton s 19th century dictum about absolute power corrupting absolutely on page 7 he mentions the beast with two backs from Shakespeare s Othello on pa Reading this novel set in 6th century Britain requires exercising a willing suspension of disbelief because it is rife with anachronisms and historical inaccuracies Sir Kay refers, for example, to the story of Aladdin and the magic lamp, an 18th century addition to the 9th 14th century The Thousand and One Nights, on page 5 he alludes to Lord Acton s 19th century dictum about absolute power corrupting absolutely on page 7 he mentions the beast with two backs from Shakespeare s Othello on page 43 and on p 62, he talks about not being born with a silver spoon in his mouth, a phrase that the Oxford English Dictionary documents as first being used in 1801 in the USA Sir Kay also claims on page 9 that Merlin brought kaffka coffee back from the Middle East, but it was first discovered in Ethiopia in the 11th century And he likewise gives credit to Merlin for retrieving the word seneschal from the same region on p 19 It s actually an Old French word, the first attested usage of which in English is 1393 in Langland s Piers Plowman.But I recommend that you willingly exercise that suspension Once you do, you re in for an entertaining, even enlightening, ride We see ourselves in Kay, who, like most of us and Everyman, muddle s through his life of mild discontent p 22 , and the anachronisms help align our perspective with his, bringing him into our and us into his worlds We also see Kay a witty and wry aficionado of long division with a capacity for irreverence and a perfidious intellect p 230 develop into an introspective, thoughtful character as he pursues his three quests.The first quest for kaffka, the most wondrous beverage imaginable that yields t he unmitigated pleasure of that first whiff of the fresh grounds, the unmatched taste, the immediate clarity of thought that followed one simple cup pp 9 and 133 , occurs seriatim It sof a sub theme meandering through the book than a quest, really, but the second quest for the Holy Grail is a true one sanctioned by king and church and embarked upon by many knights Galahad, or course, ultimately finds the grail, but the political repercussions of that discovery I ll not reveal here lest I reduce your motivation for reading the book And the third quest to find a woman who reads is merely a spiritual longing that doesn t become a quest until Kay actually stumbles upon such a woman, Arthur s eldest half sister Elaine She s learned and wise and can match wits with Kay, and his personal challenge becomes how honorably to undo a vow he made not to get involved with her In the midst of that challenge, he stumbles on another of Arthur s half sisters, Morgan le Fay, who becomes his sex tutor Whether or not Kay unites with his true love I ll not reveal here, either you ll simply have to read the novel to find out the complicated and surprising resolution to the problem.There sto the book than plot to motivate you, however The tale is an intricate one, for one thing, with tournaments, trials by combat, the etymology of the word okay, time travel from the 21st century, and chance encounters befitting a knight, such as happening on bandits raping a peasant woman whom Kay and his squire, Oswald, save, or on an Italian seller of relics whom Kay meets en route to Camelot from Tintagel chapter 25 And, for another, there are such things as political philosophy a king shouldn t do something patently wrong just because he could get away with it p 189 feminism women are really the strongest sex and make the most of living p 163 insights into human relationships It is emotional involvement that makes up the greatest component of sexual enjoyment p 226 and a brief disquisition on the nature and function of relics pp 198 99 Finally, the writing impels you forward and is studded with wit and ribaldry and onthan one occasion waxes lyrical Listen to this paragraph, for instance The area we were traversing had been pretty devastated by raiders mostly Irish, but freebooters and some Germanic tribesmen as well back during the Saxon wars when no forces could be spared to counter them But the land was clearly rebounding since the treaty Little fishing villages dotted the coastline whenever the rugged cliffs and rocks relented enough to permit an inlet or a beach to exist Plowed fields were in evidence, women had babies on their hips and toddlers under foot, and a few contented cows watched us without concern P 195 A Gentle Knight was pricking on the plaine begins Spenser s The Faerie Queene, and as the Red Cross Knight encounters adventure after adventure in book one, maturing as he goes, he gradually amply fills his initially too capacious and ill fitting armor Kay likewise ends up amply filling his armor, maturing as he goes along He becomesthan a mere seneschal,than a mere knight His journey is well worth joining.I m reviewing this book voluntarily I thank the author for sharing a copy of it with me A great, bawdy romp through Camelot, full of witty humor and clever vernacular I laughed out loud on several occasions, and sometimes gasp I even blushed It reminded me of Don Quixote Sir Kay taking Don Quixote s place, and his faithful squire Oswald taking the role of Sancho Panza Great fun. I was given a copy of Kaffka, the Holy Grail, and a Woman Who Reads The Quests of Sir Kay by the author s assistant and asked to review it My review reflects my own opinions.The Quests of Sir Kay is a quick and funny read with a 6th c Sir Kay King Arthur s foster brother , who could very easily be transplanted to the 21st century This also appears to be the case for Rusty Rhoads other books, which also have Arthurian characters, although they are living in the 21st century US Sir Kay is bu I was given a copy of Kaffka, the Holy Grail, and a Woman Who Reads The Quests of Sir Kay by the author s assistant and asked to review it My review reflects my own opinions.The Quests of Sir Kay is a quick and funny read with a 6th c Sir Kay King Arthur s foster brother , who could very easily be transplanted to the 21st century This also appears to be the case for Rusty Rhoads other books, which also have Arthurian characters, although they are living in the 21st century US Sir Kay is bullying and boorish in some of the Arthurian legends, but smart, witty, and self deprecating here He values kaffka or coffee, rare in Camelot , learning, and smart women, and often refers to 21st century ideas As he is looking for the Holy Grail, for example, he suspects that it had to be along some road less traveled, which he thinks would make a good name for a poem p 68 What I find compelling about the Arthurian legends is that they occur on the cusp of a new time a new religion, new laws, new ways of thinking much as in reading books set in other countries That placement helps me see my own world differently.This is a love story, but an unusual one Sir Kay falls in love with Princess Elaine after seeing her for less than an hour, but is prevented from seeing her again Morgan Le Fay, Elaine s younger sister, enchants and seduces Sir Kay, then falls in love with him and he her, if only he hadn t first fallen for her sister The banter throughout the book would make me want to drink kaffka or ale with these characters Sir Kay learned long division from Merlin, for example, so he and the other characters often ask questions that couch their concerns in word problems Oswald, his squire, asks, If we ride out of here in the morning and dawdle at one league per hour, and the Princess follows two hours later riding hell bent for leather at three leagues per hour, how long would it take for true love to run its course p 111.The Quests of Sir Kay is often irreverent In order to ruffle Father Gascon, and win their game of chess, Kay comments about Jesus and all the other gods You Christians claim to worship only one god, but you actually believe in a whole bevy of them God the Father, Jesus, the Holy Ghost, and Satan p 1 With regard to the new religion coming to England Catholicism , Kay thinks, I guess in retrospect, that was my main objection to the new religion the dead god had no lighter side Or perhaps that was just thefanatic of his followers, since I d not met the guy personally p 246 These characters are likable, but take somewhat different journeys here that intraditional tellings of the story Kay is smart, Oswald clever, Elaine wise and teasing, Morgan devious, but ultimately moral sort of They face thorny dilemmas, generally act within their moral constraints, and ultimately resolve their problems in the right way, often with a little help from their friends except when playing chess, when a little friendly cheating is acceptable I had difficulty with the first chapter of The Quests of Sir Kay, which I found overwritten, confusing, and somewhat manic, as it goes in several directions at once At least part of this was me not being sufficiently oriented to the story, as a reread was quite understandable If you run into problems, stay with it it s worth it From time to time a book captures my fancy and sparks my sense of humor This amusing and surprising take on the Arthurian legends is one of them Sir Kay, although Arthur s closest boyhood friend, has become an unlikely Knight of the Round Table, a terrible jouster and not adept at sword fighting either He s found his niche as Arthur s seneschal, supreme administrator of the king s household and chef par excellence While it s better than waiting to be slaughtered by Saxon hordes, Sir Kay is b From time to time a book captures my fancy and sparks my sense of humor This amusing and surprising take on the Arthurian legends is one of them Sir Kay, although Arthur s closest boyhood friend, has become an unlikely Knight of the Round Table, a terrible jouster and not adept at sword fighting either He s found his niche as Arthur s seneschal, supreme administrator of the king s household and chef par excellence While it s better than waiting to be slaughtered by Saxon hordes, Sir Kay is bored and restless as the opulence and intrigues of Camelot swirl around him He finds respite in the antics of his new page, Oswald, who is endlessly entertaining and clever Sent on a quest to rescue a long suffering Lady s dog, Kay and Oswald have adventures repelling thieves and challenges dealing with the obdurate Lord who has given the dog to his daughters In the process, Kay learns that the daughters nanny can read he is shocked and immediately attracted on meeting this princess who turns out to be Arthur s oldest sister Elaine Kay has been yearning for three things kaffka coffee that he once tasted when Merlin brought some from the east, uncovering the truth of the Holy Grail, and a woman who reads As a coffee addict myself, I totally sympathized with Kay s frequent admonitions to whatever gods to just let one kaffka bush grow in Britain He s long tired of amorous escapades now in midi life he wants intelligent conversation after sex He s also the only person in the realm after Merlin died who can do math until he meets Elaine Their meeting of minds and hearts provides savory fare for wit and longing, because Kay gave his oath he wouldn t steal the nanny Kay s adventures are full of amusing interludes, droll humor, and unexpected portrayals of famous characters such as Arthur, Guinevere, Lancelot, Galahad, and Morgan le Fay Life at the Round Table is not all feasting and glory Kay gets into some tight scrapes with irate Priests and jealous knights Clever though he is, he cannot figure out a way to honorably remove Elaine from the Lord until Oswald comes up with an outrageous scheme, and all ends well for the lovers Amusing, intelligent, quick paced and fun read with an unusual take on Camelot Kaffka, The Holy Grail, and a Woman who Reads The Quests of Sir KayOne of the current commonplaces of literary advice is not to have several characters with similar names Too confusing for a reader, they say but in Kaffka, The Holy Grail, and a Woman who Reads The Quests of Sir Kay, you ve got Morgan and Morgause and Galahad and Galahaut and that s how it has to be, since that s how it was The hero and narrator, Sir Kay, isn t too fond of his name, though seems a bit feminine, and he s not th Kaffka, The Holy Grail, and a Woman who Reads The Quests of Sir KayOne of the current commonplaces of literary advice is not to have several characters with similar names Too confusing for a reader, they say but in Kaffka, The Holy Grail, and a Woman who Reads The Quests of Sir Kay, you ve got Morgan and Morgause and Galahad and Galahaut and that s how it has to be, since that s how it was The hero and narrator, Sir Kay, isn t too fond of his name, though seems a bit feminine, and he s not that fond of women as people Why Well, most of the court ladies are vapid and not only illiterate but utterly incapable of long division, which is Kay s unique skill, taught to him by the departed Merlin himself Kay is, in the author s words, a beta male middle aged and not a great fighter but Kay is in fact successful at just about everything he puts his hand or sword to Because he s smarter than everyone except Merlin, savvier than everyone except Arthur, andsarcastic and cynical than, well, anyone But he has an underlying sincerity, since beneath all the jokes, the author takes the Arthurian world seriously The world of Kaffka is an amalgam of received Arthurian legends with a modern, very slangy sensibility Kay thinks his name is crappy The jokey and episodic story mixes period detail with deliberate anachronisms as well as bits of magic, sex, time travel and the anti Christian attitude that s de rigeur nowadays As for the title the Woman who Reads is a middle aged Elaine, whom Kay falls for the Holy Grail and the quest thereof is there, with a bit of a twist and kaffka is coffee, apparently brought by Merlin from the future and one of Kay s great passions I am voluntarily reviewing this book I thank the author for sharing a copy of the book with me This is Rusty Rhoad s fourth book and, IMHO, the best so far Told in the PoV of Sir Kay, Knight of the Round Table, the story showcases Rhoad s knowledge of Arthurian lore with which he mixes some outrageously funny anachronisms, sixth century sex, bawdy humor, knightly adventures, and wit seldom found in writers on this side of the Atlantic.I give this story five full stars and encourage everyone to read it along with Rhoad s other books that share these fine qualities. Very clever I went from laughing while reading this book, to fearing I d be struck by lightning from any number of gods , and back to laughing again This is definitely Sir Kay and Camelot as never before Read this book if you are a fan of Arthurian legend but only if you can take a joke In fact, if I start reading the rest of this author s books immediately and I can read 400 pages in 5 hours and you start reading this book in 30 minutes and you read 400 pages in 4 hours and 45 minutes, how Very clever I went from laughing while reading this book, to fearing I d be struck by lightning from any number of gods , and back to laughing again This is definitely Sir Kay and Camelot as never before Read this book if you are a fan of Arthurian legend but only if you can take a joke In fact, if I start reading the rest of this author s books immediately and I can read 400 pages in 5 hours and you start reading this book in 30 minutes and you read 400 pages in 4 hours and 45 minutes, how long will it be before we can start a conversation about how much you enjoyed this dialog between knight and squire