وضعيت آخر

وضعيت آخرPopular Books, Author Thomas A Harris This Is Very Good And Becomes The Main Topic To Read, The Readers Are Very Takjup And Always Take Inspiration From The Contents Of The Book , Essay By Thomas A Harris Is Now On Our Website And You Can Download It By Register What Are You Waiting For Please Read And Make A Refission For You About fourteen billion years ago when I was a young child, I remember my mother had this book on my parents bookshelf I remember three things about it Firstly, it was one of the few titles on that memorable shelf that I could understand at that age I also remember the strong vivid colours of the cover, so redolent of the 70s The final thing I remember is that it was definitely my mother s book and not my father s I think in later years, although my memory is scratched from my furious effor About fourteen billion years ago when I was a young child, I remember my mother had this book on my parents bookshelf I remember three things about it Firstly, it was one of the few titles on that memorable shelf that I could understand at that age I also remember the strong vivid colours of the cover, so redolent of the 70s The final thing I remember is that it was definitely my mother s book and not my father s I think in later years, although my memory is scratched from my furious efforts to erase it, in one of her many drunken rages, she actually claimed that, for her, it was her Bible.I avoided the book for decades not because of what it held inside it I had no real idea but rather because of who recommended it If my mother claimed to live by it, I reasoned, then I might well end up something like the relational mess she represented to me.That I did not read this book until my 43rd year is one of many tragic things about my childhood albeit a minor tragedy in comparison to the ones that almost prevented me entering adulthood I should have read this book very many years ago In fact, along with Of Human Bondage by Somerset Maugham, it s a book I will be buying for the next youth I know that reaches the age of 18.Not that I think any of us will really understand it then Anyone who understands it at that tender age is hardly in need of it, in fact But it s a book that should accompany you as you make your way through life, form relationships, meet people, encounter those you cannot fathom, those who fascinate and those who you really wish hadn t been born This book goes a long way to explaining why people behave as they do Now that I ve made it to my 5th decade, a lot of it makes sense.This book is probably the most successful self help book in history It presents a very simple relational model and exemplifies it both through author created dialogue and illustrations from the author s own patients.The model is based on assuming that we can take one of three positions vis a vis another Parent, Adult or Child Ideally, we d all be Adults But, mainly because of our upbringing, we tend to default to either Parent or Child when we deal with others And, because they are also defaulting to one of those, this can trigger certain responses in us too.The Child tends to be paranoid, insecure, uncertain and emotionally volatile as it falls victim to circumstance and the manipulation of others The Parent tends to be domineering, authoritative, holier than thou and an emotionally sealed box impervious to the situation of others.Whenever someone is responding in the Adult position, they are communicating I M OK YOU RE OK There are no hidden messages, people act genuinely and there is no fear either generated or perceived Whenever someone responds from the Child position, they assume the position of I M NOT OK YOU RE OK From the Parent position, the message is I M OK YOU RE NOT OK.Suffice to say that if you find someone hard to get on with and or others find you hard to get on with, Harris book is for you Pick it up and, shortly into the descriptive sections of each state, you ll be calling the wife over and saying, Listen Who does this sound like Just make sure it doesn t sound like her or you ll regret it There are sections that were less useful to me I don t have kids and so the two chapters that dealt with that were a bit pointless for me And at the very end, he decides that his theories might hold the secret to solving all the world s woes Seemed a bit far fetched to me but then it was the 1970s and even guitarists in skin tight lycra were okay then.Overall, I m very glad I read this I wish I d read it about 20 years ago Now that I have done, I feel OK though It s rare that you come across a book that takes you six months to finish, withor less weekly efforts to just get it over with 274 pages later and I still can t identify Harris s thesis This book suffers from trying to be everything and ends up being nothing Despite my bitter frustration from laboring through this insipid, disorganized mess, I still will give Harris the benefit of the doubt and assume this was all done in good faith and was a concerted effort to reach out to people in n It s rare that you come across a book that takes you six months to finish, withor less weekly efforts to just get it over with 274 pages later and I still can t identify Harris s thesis This book suffers from trying to be everything and ends up being nothing Despite my bitter frustration from laboring through this insipid, disorganized mess, I still will give Harris the benefit of the doubt and assume this was all done in good faith and was a concerted effort to reach out to people in need That being said, this one belonged on the clearance rack in 1969 It astounds me that this book advertises itself of the cover as Over 15 million copies in print and The classic bestseller that has changed the lives of millions Of course this is typical self promotion, but I d like to remind everyone that the number of books sold says nothing of the their worth Regarding psychotherapy and counseling, I never had to read a text by Carl Rogers in school, nor have I ever met someone who mentioned reading one of his yet he is indisputably one of if not the most significant and influential figure in psychotherapy By contrast, I never heard of Harris until I picked up this book, despite his millions sold The real shame of this book is that he does a disservice to psychotherapy as a whole and Transactional Analysis in particular I have yet to read Eric Berne s original Games People Play, but what I have read by him is very clear, sensible, and meaningful Berne uses clear everyday examples to illustrate his points His writing is focused and generally tightly confined to the topic Harris wanders way out into errant speculation as a matter of course Blanket statements about society and moral decay, criticisms of organized religion, meandering discussions of philosophy, spirituality, and mystical experience, race relations in America, the nature of warfare, hippies and 1960s American counterculture and the social forces that caused it , adolescent rebellion, violence in the media, rational basis for theories of ethics, proper use of time, prejudice in families and society, the state of marriage in America, international politics, the cause of the Vietnam war in terms of Parent nations and Child nations trying to grow up etc etc etc As you can see, Harris believes he can do it all in this book and that no topic is either outside the bounds of either the principles of TA or his own expertise I personally believe that such difficult and involved topics should be left to the professionals, if only because you re liable to look like a jackass with your own ignorant, half informed opinions There s an old joke in psychology based on the idea that everyone can do it by virtue of the fact that everyone has a brain and therefore is an expert Harris turns the joke on its head by claiming experience in counseling sessions gives him say in all human affairs One last nail I d like to drive in the coffin before I put this one to rest Harris betrays himself with numerous examples of his own apparent fear of intimacy with other people or willingness to engage others on a meaningful and personal level It s always strange and in some ways tragic to see a psychotherapist with no insight into his or her own identity and motivation trying to manage the affairs of other people If you want an example of what not to do in treatment, simply refer to 1 pp 157 8 illustrates sophisticated use of P A C to make a threat while explicitly claiming not to If you keep doing that, you re going to hook my Parent and then we ll both feel bad Harris labels this Adult and contrasts with You do that again and I ll slap you silly which is, of course, the same message but not veiled in P A C doublespeak 2 pp 209 10 Harris quotes long and strikingly clear explanation of group therapy processes by S.R Slavson, then immediately follows with In my own clinical experience, I have not been able to validate the above statement. Harris totally and obviously misses Slavson s gist, and then tries to tear down the reasoning It s painful to watch, and brings to mind the old Chinese saying Riding an ass and being unwilling to dismount In sum, don t waste your time I finished this one so you won t have to Put the word out on the wire and stick to the orginal Eric Berne History has not been kind to I m Okay You re Okay Inter racial marriages and pre marital sex are not quite the taboo subjects they used to be and it s been a while since I saw the word retards used seriously Indeed, the world Harris portrays seems straight out of Leave it to Beaver, which cements the whole feel of the book in the time and place it was written But there is much to learn here on the topic of transactional analysis and the P A C parent, adult and child within us all Particu History has not been kind to I m Okay You re Okay Inter racial marriages and pre marital sex are not quite the taboo subjects they used to be and it s been a while since I saw the word retards used seriously Indeed, the world Harris portrays seems straight out of Leave it to Beaver, which cements the whole feel of the book in the time and place it was written But there is much to learn here on the topic of transactional analysis and the P A C parent, adult and child within us all Particularly as Harris moves from theory to practice with fluid ease giving the reader a fly on the wall perspective of the interactions with his patients while reinforcing the conceptual tools I found this the most appealing aspect of the book just like Harris s patients, there were times when I felt as though I had had enough of P A C But like he accomplished with his patients, Harris won me round, too, in the end Harris has a tendency to waffle on and go off on tangents, but I did find enough nuggets of wisdom to stick with him though, the philosophical explorations did stretch my patience somewhat While I m not a convert to transactional analysis, I m glad I got to know of it, and I just might start payingattention to my own P A C I had to read this book twice before I realised its significance It would be a huge mistake to think that this is simply a 1960 s psychobabble book, understanding transactional analysis can really help you understand what other people mean, not just what they say It s a book that should be read by anyone who has to deal with people on a day to day basis and that s most of us. My mom called me a hippy for reading this book, but it gave me a unique perspective on how to approach interpersonal relationships with everyone in my life I learned lessons in the book that I use on a daily basis in parenting, being a husband, and working with others, nearly 15 years after reading it for the first time If you half to ever talk to other humans, you should read it. Lots of good information my favorites When in doubt leave it out restrain first impulse Blaming your faults on your nature does not change the nature of your faultsIf you do not chart a course, you will fall back in the same spotLove is not glazing at each other, but looking outward together in the same direction Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat itIf you baby a baby when he s a baby you won t have to baby him the rest of his lifePeople attract not that which they want, Lots of good information my favorites When in doubt leave it out restrain first impulse Blaming your faults on your nature does not change the nature of your faultsIf you do not chart a course, you will fall back in the same spotLove is not glazing at each other, but looking outward together in the same direction Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat itIf you baby a baby when he s a baby you won t have to baby him the rest of his lifePeople attract not that which they want, but that which they areA man is what he thinks about all day long Another thing that makes people want to change is a slow type of despair called ennui, or boredom This is what the person has who goes through life saying, So what until he finally asks the ultimate big So What He is ready to change.Thomas A Harris, I m OK You re OKIt was really a terrific book I read it a long time ago so details are fuzzy but I loved it I still remember the four different modes and check myself sometimes At times I think I have been in them all.This is a book fo Another thing that makes people want to change is a slow type of despair called ennui, or boredom This is what the person has who goes through life saying, So what until he finally asks the ultimate big So What He is ready to change.Thomas A Harris, I m OK You re OKIt was really a terrific book I read it a long time ago so details are fuzzy but I loved it I still remember the four different modes and check myself sometimes At times I think I have been in them all.This is a book for people who like Psychology and like reading about it and reading about the human mind Four modes I m OK, your not OK I m not OK, your OK I m not OK, Your not OK I m OK, Your OK.The last one is what he attempts to get us to.Well at least I remember that much This book seriously needs a reread which I fully intend to do Highly recommended but it s OK if the book is not for you When my friend introduced me to this book, I was pretty sceptic about it I had never tried any book of this genre But my love for psychology made me read this book And the first few sentences got me riveted to this book Although Transactional Analysis in psychiatry is as complicated as psychiatry itself, the way this book introduces the reader to the concept of Super ego, Ego and Id, is amazingly simple Some may say it has been oversimplified, but i think it does a good enough job to get st When my friend introduced me to this book, I was pretty sceptic about it I had never tried any book of this genre But my love for psychology made me read this book And the first few sentences got me riveted to this book Although Transactional Analysis in psychiatry is as complicated as psychiatry itself, the way this book introduces the reader to the concept of Super ego, Ego and Id, is amazingly simple Some may say it has been oversimplified, but i think it does a good enough job to get started with This book completely changed my life Helped me to get in touch with myself and in turn able to recognize the personalities of others.A must read for everybody to know how to live life to the fullest and how to deal with ups and downs of life No wonder this book is a bestseller. I m still trying to figure out why a psychiatrist thought this was a good book to give a deeply depressed 12 year old. Dr Harris book was the second of the late 1960s early 70s pop psychology books about Transactional Analysis that was written for the mass North American market It s predecessor was Games People Play by Eric Berne, the father of Transactional analysis, and Dr Harris mentor and teacher.Both were run away Best Sellers each holding NY Times Best Seller list records Might this be because Self help s readers guilt stricken, fear plagued, stupid choice making as they are can barel Dr Harris book was the second of the late 1960s early 70s pop psychology books about Transactional Analysis that was written for the mass North American market It s predecessor was Games People Play by Eric Berne, the father of Transactional analysis, and Dr Harris mentor and teacher.Both were run away Best Sellers each holding NY Times Best Seller list records Might this be because Self help s readers guilt stricken, fear plagued, stupid choice making as they are can barely stagger through a day without the assistance of trained professionals This is the opinion of Laura Millar in an excellent article about these books and how the genre has declined horribly since Games and I m OK The article is at.As a Jesus Follower, I was intrigued to learn that I m OK was extremely popular with U.S Christian Small Groups shortly after it s release This interesting fact and many others is included in a short article re the impact of this book at.Might the huge interest of I m OK be because we Christians are a group who understands the extent of what the Bible says is human depravity Or might we just beaware as a community of our desperate need for fixing And are unconcerned about its source.Either way, a lot of Christian readers for over 40 years seem to have missed the annual Best Selling New Covenant s core point People can t fix themselves ONLY Jesus can gfp 42 As a life long Human Resources practitioner, Dr Harris book is one of the few psychology books which I read that I could really understand and found helpful I recommend it although some of it s precepts are now dated.Blessings all GaryFPatton gfp 42 Edited 2013 12 18