Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest

Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest➼ [Reading] ➾ Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest By A. Lee Martinez ➱ – Oaklandjobs.co.uk Witness the epic battle of the cyclops Visit the endangered dragon preserve Please, no slayingSolve the mystery of The Mystery Cottage, if you dare Buy some knick knacks from The Fates They might come Troy's Epic eBook ☆ Witness the epic battle of the cyclops Visit the endangered dragon preserve Please, no slayingSolve the mystery of The Mystery Cottage, if you dare Buy some knick knacks from The Fates They might come in handy laterOn a road trip across an enchanted America, Helen and Troy will discover all this Helen and Kindle - and If the curse placed upon them by an ancient god doesn t kill them or the pack of reluctant orc assassins don t catch up to them, Helen and Troy might reach the end their journey in one piece, where they might just end up destroying the world Or at least and Troy's Epic ePUB ´ a state or twoA minotaur girl, an all American boy, a three legged dog, and a classic car are on the road to adventure, where every exit leads to adventure Whether they like it or not. A Lee Martinez is hit and miss for me two of his books are ridiculously fun Gil s All Fright Diner, Emperor Mollusk , a couple absolutely aren t, and a few are enjoyable but one time reads This, while decently done, I suppose, didn t work for me It should have, as a road trip centered around Heroic Quest, and containing Martinez oddball humor, but there was a strong New Young Adult theme that just didn t work for me.Helen is an Enchanted American, and one of the only fully minotaur females A Lee Martinez is hit and miss for me two of his books are ridiculously fun Gil s All Fright Diner, Emperor Mollusk , a couple absolutely aren t, and a few are enjoyable but one time reads This, while decently done, I suppose, didn t work for me It should have, as a road trip centered around Heroic Quest, and containing Martinez oddball humor, but there was a strong New Young Adult theme that just didn t work for me.Helen is an Enchanted American, and one of the only fully minotaur females in decades, so she tends to stand out in a crowd It s the summer after high school and she s working at a burger joint One night her boss asks her to stay late As she s foiling his nefarious plans, her perfect co worker, Troy, accidentally interrupts, and they are both forced into a quest A government agent shows up to help them along and they head off Meanwhile, an orc motorcycle gang only on weekends is tasked by their god to kill the questers Given that their lead, Nigel, is normally an accountant, he s fairly uncomfortable with this task.So that s the premise, which could have been engaging enough, but it didn t gel as well as it could have Questing follows the traditional oracle obstacle format, but frankly, there s far too much romantic angst and not enough questing Probably, the angst isn t particularly well done To me, it seemed fairly single note Helen knows she s a minotaur, which is a freak among freaks, and Troy is perfect, so it s not going to work She s very self conscious of her shedding, strength, and increasing irritability Troy is aware everyone thinks he s perfect, although he s pretty sure they don t realize how much he works at it, and he s insecure about Helen I believe that s the gist of it, which might have been mildly interesting at first, but ended up being annoying by the end Since I m definitely not a new young adult reader, I can t really comment on how it stacks up for the genre, but it definitely didn t transcend it.The first chapter or two were fun, particularly the Hamburger God, and I wondered if it would be a grown up sort of Percy Jackson Unfortunately, it lost velocity and I never really got sucked into the story I finally made myself finish it, just so I could move on to other books without lingering guilt The tone didn t sustain fun for me at times it seemed kind of sad, particularly the orcs, and others it felt forced There s a lot of genre mash up here as well, so perhaps the kitchen sink approach didn t quite work either spoilerish elements view spoiler minotaurs, government agents, folklore witches, elves, orcs, elemental spirits, dragons hide spoiler Ultimately, not my thing, and I d recommend a number of his other books before this one.Two and a half stars, rounding down just because of the reluctance to restart reading Totally enjoyable humor, AGAIN, from A Lee Martinez Great tongue in cheek premises, such as the local minotaur girl working in a BURGER JOINT getting almost sacrificed by the Hamburger God Chernobog by her manager, leads directly to a QUEST Bring along Helen s cute co worker Troy, get Quest licenses from the local board, tell their parents they ll be going on a roadtrip, and off we go, running Martinez always rather rocks It s not always the premises that are best, but the way t Totally enjoyable humor, AGAIN, from A Lee Martinez Great tongue in cheek premises, such as the local minotaur girl working in a BURGER JOINT getting almost sacrificed by the Hamburger God Chernobog by her manager, leads directly to a QUEST Bring along Helen s cute co worker Troy, get Quest licenses from the local board, tell their parents they ll be going on a roadtrip, and off we go, running Martinez always rather rocks It s not always the premises that are best, but the way the author always makes characters who are so damn well rounded Courageous and insecure, shy and deadly The meet cute is so damn cute The magical artifacts are fun But you know what I like best Nigel the Accountant He is pretty pissed at how stupid his orc ancestors are Of course, no one asked HIM if he wanted to get caught up in his own quest to destroy these two poor kids Love it The best part is the journey, but that ending was funny as hell This was really good I love those books that I pick on a whim just bc not many read them, if they are bad then it s expected and if they are good they are really good.An Asian MC who probably would hate that I said that bc he s annoyed that s all people take from meeting him, but I had to XD and a girl suffering from Minotaurism who probably would like that I said that instead of tiptoeing around it go on a road trip quest I mean what else you want.RTC. I wish i could just sit down with A Lee Martinez over a meal, and a road trip, and just pick his brains Probably one of my favorite authors Every book of his is chock full of great, zany characters, wild and bizarre situations, and just crammed with wit, charm, heroism, puns, andA Locus critic wrote about one of his books, and I agree and think it pertains to all of his oeuvre Divine Misfortune reads like a mash up of Neil Gaiman, Monty Python, and a sugar bombed nine year old Hel I wish i could just sit down with A Lee Martinez over a meal, and a road trip, and just pick his brains Probably one of my favorite authors Every book of his is chock full of great, zany characters, wild and bizarre situations, and just crammed with wit, charm, heroism, puns, andA Locus critic wrote about one of his books, and I agree and think it pertains to all of his oeuvre Divine Misfortune reads like a mash up of Neil Gaiman, Monty Python, and a sugar bombed nine year old Helen Troy s did not disappoint She s a minotaur young lady, he s the quintessential All American boy They re on a quest, through no fault of their own, and they get in and out of epic see trials and tribulations along the way Highly recommended What the hell was that asked Troy A god of yore she replied But I think it s dead now Helen, one of a pseudo race of beings known as Enchanted Americans, is eighteen years old A good student, a Marvel Comics fangirl, a non preachy vegetarian and high school graduate well on her way to a good college, Helen is also a Minotaur.She d always thought the tail was kind of cute.Minotaurism is nothingthan a family trait to Helen, passed down by some ancient curse laid on an ancestor Her What the hell was that asked Troy A god of yore she replied But I think it s dead now Helen, one of a pseudo race of beings known as Enchanted Americans, is eighteen years old A good student, a Marvel Comics fangirl, a non preachy vegetarian and high school graduate well on her way to a good college, Helen is also a Minotaur.She d always thought the tail was kind of cute.Minotaurism is nothingthan a family trait to Helen, passed down by some ancient curse laid on an ancestor Her mother has cloven hooves, her brothers fur and a tail Helen has it worse than them, sure, what with the horns and all, but to Helen, she s just Helen But this epic isn t about Helen and her horns You can help me just the same A couple of strong young mortal specimens The god focused his gaze on them, and they were immobilized by his supernatural power You ll do Helen and her coworker at Magic Burger, Troy, have been inadvertently Helen on purpose, actullay sacrificed to the Lost God by their elf boss, Mr Whiteleaf.The Lost God, banished by his pantheon and worshiped possibly only by Mr Whiteleaf, takes them on as his servants in the series of tasks that will being him back to his full power so he can take his throne back Your quest is this You must gather the relics and bring them to the place of power at the appointed time What kind of relics asked Troy I m not sure, he replied How many asked Helen Somewhere between four and six, I think Possibly seven Nothan eight, I feel confident in saying Where is the place of power asked Helen I don t know When s the appointed time asked Helen.The god rolled his eyes Soonish That s a bit vague for a quest, isn t it asked Troy.After being cursed by the Lost God, their hands enchanted to help them find these mysterious relics, Helen and Troy are given the rundown on questing by the NQB you guessed it the National Questing Bureau After being praised for their bravery in accepting the task You re here because you choose to be He said as if it answered everything Walking through that door was the first step Every hero who has ever dreamed of glory has had to cross that threshold Not that threshold specifically, but one like it It s a signal to the universe, the moment when you agree to begin your journey into unknown worlds Helen couldn t decide if Weachter believed what he said or was pushing pseudo intellectual nonsense She wasn t sure she cared any.they re on their way to complete the quest of the Lost God You know what that meansAs fun and games as this adventure sounds, not counting the Lost God s impending violence against the tri state area the perfect last hurrah before their last summer as kids ends, a chance to get to know each other after so many years at the same school and even working the same job, Helen and Troy s quest isn t all enchanted roadside stores and drive through dragon preserves.Helen, cursed her whole life, never knew she wanted to beNormal.Troy, popular all American boy with a great personality and a kind heart, never knew he didn t want to be normal.A person without flaws sometimes didn t seem like much of a person at all.Maybe the quest will go off without a hitch Maybe they ll kill everybody They don t know, the Lost God does t know, the NPC status kookie characters the meet along the way don t know, either.But one thing is for certain When the chips fall and the dust settles, it will BeEPIC My only thought while reading this book besides My face hurts from all this smiling basically boiled down to this horrifying thing is actually a CG animation of an emoti moji available on DeviantArt Helen And Troy s Epic Road Quest is pretty much what is says on the tin It s fun as all hell, and totally epic in parts It has a bit of everything urban fantasy with a humor twist, a really heartwarming story about growing up and changing as a person, reflections on stereotyping, and even social commentary that, though hypothetical and allegorical, of course, was a very smart turn on the way interracial relationships are still frowned upon, however politely , in Western society.Oh And Helen says this I am what I am, and you re Wyatt Wingfoot I first read Martinez s first novel, Gil s All Fright Diner, at thirteen I thought it was the funniest damn thing I d ever read I didn t know books could be so funny I didn t know there was such a rich genre of humor and laughter in books It was part of what finally got me to become the reader I am today Martinez is a very good example of humor with merit He s a talent and a treasure I recommend him highly I am SO excited to readof his work You continue on your journey You follow the road where it takes you Same as any of us And you hope that, if it s going to lead you someplace unpleasant, then it will at least be interesting unpleasantness Helen and Troy are just your ordinary, average young Americans who work together at minimum wage jobs in a fast food restaurant Well, except for the small detail that Helen is a minotaur and the two have been given an epic quest by a hamburger god And while details of the quest aren t exactly forthcoming, the duo still sets out on a epic road trip quest in A Lee Martinez s comedic fantasy novel Helen and Troy s Epic Road Quest.Along the way, they ll meet a cyclops who will only do battle with Helen and Troy are just your ordinary, average young Americans who work together at minimum wage jobs in a fast food restaurant Well, except for the small detail that Helen is a minotaur and the two have been given an epic quest by a hamburger god And while details of the quest aren t exactly forthcoming, the duo still sets out on a epic road trip quest in A Lee Martinez s comedic fantasy novel Helen and Troy s Epic Road Quest.Along the way, they ll meet a cyclops who will only do battle with people who have purchased a license enacted to help keep his small town s struggling government afloat , visit a dragon preserve and face pursuit by a group of supernatural bikers who may or may not have our heroes best interests at heart And that doesn t even take into account the quasi governmental agency assigned to help our heroes.If it all sounds a bit absurd and like something out of a Terry Pratchett novel, you re not wrong Unlike a lot of authors who try and fail to channel the humor of Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett, Martinez writes a humorous story, poking fun at the pratfalls of epic fantasy and delivering a handful of genuine laugh out loud moments along the way This is not a book to be read in company that will look at you oddly if you chuckle, snort or laugh out loud at a certain line, image or clever turn of phrase Consider yourself warned And while Martinez gets fairly close to what Adams and Prachett do and they make it look easy , he doesn t quite enter the same stratosphere as those two giants But he comes a lot closer than many other authors I ve seen try and spectacularly fail in the attempt That s not to say Helen and Troy isn t a fun, entertaining read It s a mostly hit or miss comic fantasy that, for me, hitthan it missed Certain threads started to weigh thin over the course of the story, but overall this is an epic road quest worth taking This mis matched duo of a minotaur and the popular cute guy delivers some solid laughs and witty observations over the course of the story And Martinez wisely doesn t dwell long on each of the epic fantasy stops along the way He allows the jokes to have their moment and not wear thin in most cases In the interest of full discretion, I received a digital ARC of this book from NetGalley in exchange for a fair and honest review Ten Second Synopsis After narrowly avoiding being sacrificed to a god in the form of a mound of minced meat, Helen and Troy are coerced into undertaking a quest for it That s when things start to get a little weird.I loved this book Since I first saw it, I had it on my radar as a possible perfect match for my tastes I had tried another of Martinez s novels though, and it didn t do much for me, so there was a bit of niggling doubt but I m pleased to say that this one lived up exactly to my exp Ten Second Synopsis After narrowly avoiding being sacrificed to a god in the form of a mound of minced meat, Helen and Troy are coerced into undertaking a quest for it That s when things start to get a little weird.I loved this book Since I first saw it, I had it on my radar as a possible perfect match for my tastes I had tried another of Martinez s novels though, and it didn t do much for me, so there was a bit of niggling doubt but I m pleased to say that this one lived up exactly to my expectations, without exceeding them That probably sounds like a bad thing, but it s not I expected a fun, cheeky read that was a bit of a no brainer and that s what I got and I am very grateful for it.The plot is full of slightly predictable but nevertheless chuckle worthy takes on the whole questing genre of book game movie and anyone who enjoys this genre should get a kick out of this tribute I loved the inclusion of a female character with body issues that have nothing to do with being thin, and a male character who is so perfect he finds his perfection a bit of a drag I loved the ambivalence of the Orcs, the unhelpful helpfulness of the questing bureaucracy and the unashamed use by the Magic Burger manager of his own employees in a sacrificial ritual Actually, those first few chapters were an absolute cracker.I ve given this one 5 stars not because it s the best, or even funniest, book ever written but because it lived up to my expectations perfectly and that s a rare thing for me these days Helen is a normal teenage girl She s smart She s funny She s got some mild body image issues And she s a Minotaur or Enchanted American, in the parlance of their times Troy s your average overachieving, handsome, athletic, likeable Asian American guy When their boss at their after school job tries to sacrifice Helen, Helen Troy are thrust together on a quest by the Lost God They are aided by the shadowy agents of the Questing Bureau, as well as an assortment of oddball characters the Helen is a normal teenage girl She s smart She s funny She s got some mild body image issues And she s a Minotaur or Enchanted American, in the parlance of their times Troy s your average overachieving, handsome, athletic, likeable Asian American guy When their boss at their after school job tries to sacrifice Helen, Helen Troy are thrust together on a quest by the Lost God They are aided by the shadowy agents of the Questing Bureau, as well as an assortment of oddball characters they meet along the way.The plot thickens when the Wild Hunt motorcycle gang is compelled to stop them Don t hold the fact that they are Orcs against them Most of the bikers are office workers during the week, and only get out riding on the weekends Nevertheless, they have their heritage to live up to, and will stop at almost nothing to stop Helen Troy s success.Helen Troy s Epic Road Quest is an absolute joy Martinez manages to balance character and plot exceedingly well, while keeping his tongue firmly planted in cheek You want action and adventure You ve got it You want emotional growth or a will they or won t they romance You ve got it You want laughs and winking references to a myriad of genre related items Well they re thrown in as well A fun light hearted book, a palate cleanser after the tragic Anna Karenina Helen and Troy s Epic Road Quest is a tongue in cheek adventure story, set on an alternate Earth where mythology is real and magic and magical creatures are commonplace The story follows high school students on a quest that was cursed upon them by a god who embodied himself in a ton of raw beef at a fast food burger joint They reluctantly head off to recover various magic relics that may or may not bring about the end A fun light hearted book, a palate cleanser after the tragic Anna Karenina Helen and Troy s Epic Road Quest is a tongue in cheek adventure story, set on an alternate Earth where mythology is real and magic and magical creatures are commonplace The story follows high school students on a quest that was cursed upon them by a god who embodied himself in a ton of raw beef at a fast food burger joint They reluctantly head off to recover various magic relics that may or may not bring about the end of the world But they ll die if they don t Oh, and one of the high school kids happens to be a Minotaur To be honest, I was never clear whether she had a full on bullhead or a human face I felt the author kind of side stepped that issue when he set up the romance between the main characters Call it family friendly bestiality.The humor reminded me of Christopher Moore not as campy but finding humor in the clash between the mystical and the mundane The second half of the book doesn t live up to the gleeful absurdity of the first half, but it s a quick read so not much of a letdown Helen is just your average minotaur teenager, working at a fast food joint for money, crushing on boys, making sure that her horns don t get in the way of the other people around her When an after shift sacrifice to an ancient elven god curses Helen and her work friend Troy, they must go on an across state adventure to please the gods.This is a Funny, lovable book with amazing characters, action that blows your socks off, and humor, loads of humor I would recommend this book to someone looking Helen is just your average minotaur teenager, working at a fast food joint for money, crushing on boys, making sure that her horns don t get in the way of the other people around her When an after shift sacrifice to an ancient elven god curses Helen and her work friend Troy, they must go on an across state adventure to please the gods.This is a Funny, lovable book with amazing characters, action that blows your socks off, and humor, loads of humor I would recommend this book to someone looking for a funny book 4 5 stars Leo M

Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest eBook × Helen and
    This guide aims to show you how to download might come in handy laterOn a road trip across an enchanted America, Helen and Troy will discover all this Helen and Kindle - and If the curse placed upon them by an ancient god doesn t kill them or the pack of reluctant orc assassins don t catch up to them, Helen and Troy might reach the end their journey in one piece, where they might just end up destroying the world Or at least and Troy's Epic ePUB ´ a state or twoA minotaur girl, an all American boy, a three legged dog, and a classic car are on the road to adventure, where every exit leads to adventure Whether they like it or not. A Lee Martinez is hit and miss for me two of his books are ridiculously fun Gil s All Fright Diner, Emperor Mollusk , a couple absolutely aren t, and a few are enjoyable but one time reads This, while decently done, I suppose, didn t work for me It should have, as a road trip centered around Heroic Quest, and containing Martinez oddball humor, but there was a strong New Young Adult theme that just didn t work for me.Helen is an Enchanted American, and one of the only fully minotaur females A Lee Martinez is hit and miss for me two of his books are ridiculously fun Gil s All Fright Diner, Emperor Mollusk , a couple absolutely aren t, and a few are enjoyable but one time reads This, while decently done, I suppose, didn t work for me It should have, as a road trip centered around Heroic Quest, and containing Martinez oddball humor, but there was a strong New Young Adult theme that just didn t work for me.Helen is an Enchanted American, and one of the only fully minotaur females in decades, so she tends to stand out in a crowd It s the summer after high school and she s working at a burger joint One night her boss asks her to stay late As she s foiling his nefarious plans, her perfect co worker, Troy, accidentally interrupts, and they are both forced into a quest A government agent shows up to help them along and they head off Meanwhile, an orc motorcycle gang only on weekends is tasked by their god to kill the questers Given that their lead, Nigel, is normally an accountant, he s fairly uncomfortable with this task.So that s the premise, which could have been engaging enough, but it didn t gel as well as it could have Questing follows the traditional oracle obstacle format, but frankly, there s far too much romantic angst and not enough questing Probably, the angst isn t particularly well done To me, it seemed fairly single note Helen knows she s a minotaur, which is a freak among freaks, and Troy is perfect, so it s not going to work She s very self conscious of her shedding, strength, and increasing irritability Troy is aware everyone thinks he s perfect, although he s pretty sure they don t realize how much he works at it, and he s insecure about Helen I believe that s the gist of it, which might have been mildly interesting at first, but ended up being annoying by the end Since I m definitely not a new young adult reader, I can t really comment on how it stacks up for the genre, but it definitely didn t transcend it.The first chapter or two were fun, particularly the Hamburger God, and I wondered if it would be a grown up sort of Percy Jackson Unfortunately, it lost velocity and I never really got sucked into the story I finally made myself finish it, just so I could move on to other books without lingering guilt The tone didn t sustain fun for me at times it seemed kind of sad, particularly the orcs, and others it felt forced There s a lot of genre mash up here as well, so perhaps the kitchen sink approach didn t quite work either spoilerish elements view spoiler minotaurs, government agents, folklore witches, elves, orcs, elemental spirits, dragons hide spoiler Ultimately, not my thing, and I d recommend a number of his other books before this one.Two and a half stars, rounding down just because of the reluctance to restart reading Totally enjoyable humor, AGAIN, from A Lee Martinez Great tongue in cheek premises, such as the local minotaur girl working in a BURGER JOINT getting almost sacrificed by the Hamburger God Chernobog by her manager, leads directly to a QUEST Bring along Helen s cute co worker Troy, get Quest licenses from the local board, tell their parents they ll be going on a roadtrip, and off we go, running Martinez always rather rocks It s not always the premises that are best, but the way t Totally enjoyable humor, AGAIN, from A Lee Martinez Great tongue in cheek premises, such as the local minotaur girl working in a BURGER JOINT getting almost sacrificed by the Hamburger God Chernobog by her manager, leads directly to a QUEST Bring along Helen s cute co worker Troy, get Quest licenses from the local board, tell their parents they ll be going on a roadtrip, and off we go, running Martinez always rather rocks It s not always the premises that are best, but the way the author always makes characters who are so damn well rounded Courageous and insecure, shy and deadly The meet cute is so damn cute The magical artifacts are fun But you know what I like best Nigel the Accountant He is pretty pissed at how stupid his orc ancestors are Of course, no one asked HIM if he wanted to get caught up in his own quest to destroy these two poor kids Love it The best part is the journey, but that ending was funny as hell This was really good I love those books that I pick on a whim just bc not many read them, if they are bad then it s expected and if they are good they are really good.An Asian MC who probably would hate that I said that bc he s annoyed that s all people take from meeting him, but I had to XD and a girl suffering from Minotaurism who probably would like that I said that instead of tiptoeing around it go on a road trip quest I mean what else you want.RTC. I wish i could just sit down with A Lee Martinez over a meal, and a road trip, and just pick his brains Probably one of my favorite authors Every book of his is chock full of great, zany characters, wild and bizarre situations, and just crammed with wit, charm, heroism, puns, andA Locus critic wrote about one of his books, and I agree and think it pertains to all of his oeuvre Divine Misfortune reads like a mash up of Neil Gaiman, Monty Python, and a sugar bombed nine year old Hel I wish i could just sit down with A Lee Martinez over a meal, and a road trip, and just pick his brains Probably one of my favorite authors Every book of his is chock full of great, zany characters, wild and bizarre situations, and just crammed with wit, charm, heroism, puns, andA Locus critic wrote about one of his books, and I agree and think it pertains to all of his oeuvre Divine Misfortune reads like a mash up of Neil Gaiman, Monty Python, and a sugar bombed nine year old Helen Troy s did not disappoint She s a minotaur young lady, he s the quintessential All American boy They re on a quest, through no fault of their own, and they get in and out of epic see trials and tribulations along the way Highly recommended What the hell was that asked Troy A god of yore she replied But I think it s dead now Helen, one of a pseudo race of beings known as Enchanted Americans, is eighteen years old A good student, a Marvel Comics fangirl, a non preachy vegetarian and high school graduate well on her way to a good college, Helen is also a Minotaur.She d always thought the tail was kind of cute.Minotaurism is nothingthan a family trait to Helen, passed down by some ancient curse laid on an ancestor Her What the hell was that asked Troy A god of yore she replied But I think it s dead now Helen, one of a pseudo race of beings known as Enchanted Americans, is eighteen years old A good student, a Marvel Comics fangirl, a non preachy vegetarian and high school graduate well on her way to a good college, Helen is also a Minotaur.She d always thought the tail was kind of cute.Minotaurism is nothingthan a family trait to Helen, passed down by some ancient curse laid on an ancestor Her mother has cloven hooves, her brothers fur and a tail Helen has it worse than them, sure, what with the horns and all, but to Helen, she s just Helen But this epic isn t about Helen and her horns You can help me just the same A couple of strong young mortal specimens The god focused his gaze on them, and they were immobilized by his supernatural power You ll do Helen and her coworker at Magic Burger, Troy, have been inadvertently Helen on purpose, actullay sacrificed to the Lost God by their elf boss, Mr Whiteleaf.The Lost God, banished by his pantheon and worshiped possibly only by Mr Whiteleaf, takes them on as his servants in the series of tasks that will being him back to his full power so he can take his throne back Your quest is this You must gather the relics and bring them to the place of power at the appointed time What kind of relics asked Troy I m not sure, he replied How many asked Helen Somewhere between four and six, I think Possibly seven Nothan eight, I feel confident in saying Where is the place of power asked Helen I don t know When s the appointed time asked Helen.The god rolled his eyes Soonish That s a bit vague for a quest, isn t it asked Troy.After being cursed by the Lost God, their hands enchanted to help them find these mysterious relics, Helen and Troy are given the rundown on questing by the NQB you guessed it the National Questing Bureau After being praised for their bravery in accepting the task You re here because you choose to be He said as if it answered everything Walking through that door was the first step Every hero who has ever dreamed of glory has had to cross that threshold Not that threshold specifically, but one like it It s a signal to the universe, the moment when you agree to begin your journey into unknown worlds Helen couldn t decide if Weachter believed what he said or was pushing pseudo intellectual nonsense She wasn t sure she cared any.they re on their way to complete the quest of the Lost God You know what that meansAs fun and games as this adventure sounds, not counting the Lost God s impending violence against the tri state area the perfect last hurrah before their last summer as kids ends, a chance to get to know each other after so many years at the same school and even working the same job, Helen and Troy s quest isn t all enchanted roadside stores and drive through dragon preserves.Helen, cursed her whole life, never knew she wanted to beNormal.Troy, popular all American boy with a great personality and a kind heart, never knew he didn t want to be normal.A person without flaws sometimes didn t seem like much of a person at all.Maybe the quest will go off without a hitch Maybe they ll kill everybody They don t know, the Lost God does t know, the NPC status kookie characters the meet along the way don t know, either.But one thing is for certain When the chips fall and the dust settles, it will BeEPIC My only thought while reading this book besides My face hurts from all this smiling basically boiled down to this horrifying thing is actually a CG animation of an emoti moji available on DeviantArt Helen And Troy s Epic Road Quest is pretty much what is says on the tin It s fun as all hell, and totally epic in parts It has a bit of everything urban fantasy with a humor twist, a really heartwarming story about growing up and changing as a person, reflections on stereotyping, and even social commentary that, though hypothetical and allegorical, of course, was a very smart turn on the way interracial relationships are still frowned upon, however politely , in Western society.Oh And Helen says this I am what I am, and you re Wyatt Wingfoot I first read Martinez s first novel, Gil s All Fright Diner, at thirteen I thought it was the funniest damn thing I d ever read I didn t know books could be so funny I didn t know there was such a rich genre of humor and laughter in books It was part of what finally got me to become the reader I am today Martinez is a very good example of humor with merit He s a talent and a treasure I recommend him highly I am SO excited to readof his work You continue on your journey You follow the road where it takes you Same as any of us And you hope that, if it s going to lead you someplace unpleasant, then it will at least be interesting unpleasantness Helen and Troy are just your ordinary, average young Americans who work together at minimum wage jobs in a fast food restaurant Well, except for the small detail that Helen is a minotaur and the two have been given an epic quest by a hamburger god And while details of the quest aren t exactly forthcoming, the duo still sets out on a epic road trip quest in A Lee Martinez s comedic fantasy novel Helen and Troy s Epic Road Quest.Along the way, they ll meet a cyclops who will only do battle with Helen and Troy are just your ordinary, average young Americans who work together at minimum wage jobs in a fast food restaurant Well, except for the small detail that Helen is a minotaur and the two have been given an epic quest by a hamburger god And while details of the quest aren t exactly forthcoming, the duo still sets out on a epic road trip quest in A Lee Martinez s comedic fantasy novel Helen and Troy s Epic Road Quest.Along the way, they ll meet a cyclops who will only do battle with people who have purchased a license enacted to help keep his small town s struggling government afloat , visit a dragon preserve and face pursuit by a group of supernatural bikers who may or may not have our heroes best interests at heart And that doesn t even take into account the quasi governmental agency assigned to help our heroes.If it all sounds a bit absurd and like something out of a Terry Pratchett novel, you re not wrong Unlike a lot of authors who try and fail to channel the humor of Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett, Martinez writes a humorous story, poking fun at the pratfalls of epic fantasy and delivering a handful of genuine laugh out loud moments along the way This is not a book to be read in company that will look at you oddly if you chuckle, snort or laugh out loud at a certain line, image or clever turn of phrase Consider yourself warned And while Martinez gets fairly close to what Adams and Prachett do and they make it look easy , he doesn t quite enter the same stratosphere as those two giants But he comes a lot closer than many other authors I ve seen try and spectacularly fail in the attempt That s not to say Helen and Troy isn t a fun, entertaining read It s a mostly hit or miss comic fantasy that, for me, hitthan it missed Certain threads started to weigh thin over the course of the story, but overall this is an epic road quest worth taking This mis matched duo of a minotaur and the popular cute guy delivers some solid laughs and witty observations over the course of the story And Martinez wisely doesn t dwell long on each of the epic fantasy stops along the way He allows the jokes to have their moment and not wear thin in most cases In the interest of full discretion, I received a digital ARC of this book from NetGalley in exchange for a fair and honest review Ten Second Synopsis After narrowly avoiding being sacrificed to a god in the form of a mound of minced meat, Helen and Troy are coerced into undertaking a quest for it That s when things start to get a little weird.I loved this book Since I first saw it, I had it on my radar as a possible perfect match for my tastes I had tried another of Martinez s novels though, and it didn t do much for me, so there was a bit of niggling doubt but I m pleased to say that this one lived up exactly to my exp Ten Second Synopsis After narrowly avoiding being sacrificed to a god in the form of a mound of minced meat, Helen and Troy are coerced into undertaking a quest for it That s when things start to get a little weird.I loved this book Since I first saw it, I had it on my radar as a possible perfect match for my tastes I had tried another of Martinez s novels though, and it didn t do much for me, so there was a bit of niggling doubt but I m pleased to say that this one lived up exactly to my expectations, without exceeding them That probably sounds like a bad thing, but it s not I expected a fun, cheeky read that was a bit of a no brainer and that s what I got and I am very grateful for it.The plot is full of slightly predictable but nevertheless chuckle worthy takes on the whole questing genre of book game movie and anyone who enjoys this genre should get a kick out of this tribute I loved the inclusion of a female character with body issues that have nothing to do with being thin, and a male character who is so perfect he finds his perfection a bit of a drag I loved the ambivalence of the Orcs, the unhelpful helpfulness of the questing bureaucracy and the unashamed use by the Magic Burger manager of his own employees in a sacrificial ritual Actually, those first few chapters were an absolute cracker.I ve given this one 5 stars not because it s the best, or even funniest, book ever written but because it lived up to my expectations perfectly and that s a rare thing for me these days Helen is a normal teenage girl She s smart She s funny She s got some mild body image issues And she s a Minotaur or Enchanted American, in the parlance of their times Troy s your average overachieving, handsome, athletic, likeable Asian American guy When their boss at their after school job tries to sacrifice Helen, Helen Troy are thrust together on a quest by the Lost God They are aided by the shadowy agents of the Questing Bureau, as well as an assortment of oddball characters the Helen is a normal teenage girl She s smart She s funny She s got some mild body image issues And she s a Minotaur or Enchanted American, in the parlance of their times Troy s your average overachieving, handsome, athletic, likeable Asian American guy When their boss at their after school job tries to sacrifice Helen, Helen Troy are thrust together on a quest by the Lost God They are aided by the shadowy agents of the Questing Bureau, as well as an assortment of oddball characters they meet along the way.The plot thickens when the Wild Hunt motorcycle gang is compelled to stop them Don t hold the fact that they are Orcs against them Most of the bikers are office workers during the week, and only get out riding on the weekends Nevertheless, they have their heritage to live up to, and will stop at almost nothing to stop Helen Troy s success.Helen Troy s Epic Road Quest is an absolute joy Martinez manages to balance character and plot exceedingly well, while keeping his tongue firmly planted in cheek You want action and adventure You ve got it You want emotional growth or a will they or won t they romance You ve got it You want laughs and winking references to a myriad of genre related items Well they re thrown in as well A fun light hearted book, a palate cleanser after the tragic Anna Karenina Helen and Troy s Epic Road Quest is a tongue in cheek adventure story, set on an alternate Earth where mythology is real and magic and magical creatures are commonplace The story follows high school students on a quest that was cursed upon them by a god who embodied himself in a ton of raw beef at a fast food burger joint They reluctantly head off to recover various magic relics that may or may not bring about the end A fun light hearted book, a palate cleanser after the tragic Anna Karenina Helen and Troy s Epic Road Quest is a tongue in cheek adventure story, set on an alternate Earth where mythology is real and magic and magical creatures are commonplace The story follows high school students on a quest that was cursed upon them by a god who embodied himself in a ton of raw beef at a fast food burger joint They reluctantly head off to recover various magic relics that may or may not bring about the end of the world But they ll die if they don t Oh, and one of the high school kids happens to be a Minotaur To be honest, I was never clear whether she had a full on bullhead or a human face I felt the author kind of side stepped that issue when he set up the romance between the main characters Call it family friendly bestiality.The humor reminded me of Christopher Moore not as campy but finding humor in the clash between the mystical and the mundane The second half of the book doesn t live up to the gleeful absurdity of the first half, but it s a quick read so not much of a letdown Helen is just your average minotaur teenager, working at a fast food joint for money, crushing on boys, making sure that her horns don t get in the way of the other people around her When an after shift sacrifice to an ancient elven god curses Helen and her work friend Troy, they must go on an across state adventure to please the gods.This is a Funny, lovable book with amazing characters, action that blows your socks off, and humor, loads of humor I would recommend this book to someone looking Helen is just your average minotaur teenager, working at a fast food joint for money, crushing on boys, making sure that her horns don t get in the way of the other people around her When an after shift sacrifice to an ancient elven god curses Helen and her work friend Troy, they must go on an across state adventure to please the gods.This is a Funny, lovable book with amazing characters, action that blows your socks off, and humor, loads of humor I would recommend this book to someone looking for a funny book 4 5 stars Leo M "/>
  • Paperback
  • 353 pages
  • Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest
  • A. Lee Martinez
  • English
  • 03 January 2018
  • 0316226432